


TOW all the hiding

by Fafsernir



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fafsernir/pseuds/Fafsernir
Summary: When they had agreed that hiding their relationship was the best thing to do, Chandler and Monica hadn't thought it through. It was harder than they had imagined. Standing in the same room without doing anything, finding excuses to be alone, sneaking around, being interrupted...





	1. TOW the closet

**Author's Note:**

> Set early Season 5, most of them before Joey found out about Chandler and Monica.
> 
> It's just a handful of short fics with ideas I had about them having to hide their relationship. It was fun to write and if you have a random idea about that, don't hesitate to submit it :)

Chandler grinned as he deepened the kiss and Monica groaned. He ran his hands a few more times up and down her body, then slipped them under the now very frustrating clothes getting on his way. He probably prided himself a bit too much with the way he could make her whimper just by kissing her, but he really couldn't seem to give a damn. He was a freaking good kisser – Monica's words. Well, partly.

They both froze when they heard the flat's door close and suddenly pulled away, Chandler's head bumping against Monica's closet.

“Perfect!” she whispered, opening one door and shoving Chandler in it, without giving him time to think. “Rach!” Monica quickly exclaimed, leaving her bedroom to check on her friend that had just entered.

When Joey came in next, she pursed her lips, wondering if they couldn't have just pretended that she had been showing something to Chandler. But hiding him in the closet had sounded more logical on the moment. She just hoped Chandler wouldn't be mad at her. She could hardly sneak him out of her own bedroom, and their two friends could be here for a while, especially if... Phoebe or Ross came in, Monica thought just as Phoebe entered. Monica offered to go down in Central Perk after long minutes, and managed to excuse herself to her bedroom for a couple of minutes.

“I've been in here for hours!” Chandler whispered angrily when she opened the closet.

“Hours? It's not even been half an hour,” she frowned.

“It felt like hours!”

“Can you hide two more minutes? Just get out when we leave.”

“What? I'm not spending any more time in there. Mr. Pants is really mean to me.”

“Have you tried talking to Mrs. Shirt instead?” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, I'll make it up to you. With sex,” she said quickly, gesturing vaguely in the air without really knowing why.

“Okay!” Chandler said and ridiculously jumped, happy, then silently got back into the closet, obviously satisfied. “Oh,” he whispered and popped his head out to kiss Monica.

“Are you ready yet?” Rachel called from the living-room.

Monica couldn't contain a happy smile, but shoved Chandler back into the closet and joined her friends waiting for her.


	2. TOW the balcony

Monica didn't really question her life anymore sometimes, but she still wondered how she had come to this. Things had been getting hot a minute earlier and they had been kissing, but now she had her hand against Chandler's mouth, barely allowing him to breathe through his nose, and she was waiting to hear the door of Rachel's room. When it opened and closed, she sighed and let go of Chandler.

“What do we do?!” he whispered, starting to panic.

“I know, I can't believe I asked her to find earrings I already have here!”

“Monica!” Chandler snapped.

“Right, quick, in my bedroom, we'll figure out the rest here.”

“I'm naked!” he said as she was opening the bathroom's door and checking if nobody was around.

“I don't care! Quick,” she pressed him, pushing him towards her bedroom, but she heard Rachel from the other end of the flat and she pushed Chandler towards the balcony instead, opening the window and almost shoving him outside. “Sorry!” She said and ran back to the bathroom to take the earrings she had asked for, closing her bathrobe quickly.

“I couldn't find them,” Rachel said, walking back into the living-room.

“Found them!” Monica shouted a bit too enthusiastically, hopping across the apartment to face the window so Rachel would have her back on it while speaking to her.

“I thought you were getting dressed?”

“Oh, what for?” Monica chuckled nervously, having forgotten that her excuse for Rachel not to open the bathroom's door had been that she was getting dressed. “I didn't like what I picked and...” She stopped mid-sentence, gaping at Chandler, naked on the balcony, who had just reached for one of her underwear drying outside. He disappeared again, just when Rachel was looking in his direction. “I THOUGHT I'D STAY LIKE THIS!” Monica exclaimed then clear her throat very loudly.

She was relieved when Rachel sat on the armchair, the one with its back to the window, and disappeared only for a second to hide Chandler's clothes in the bathroom. She sat on the table to face her, trying to think how she could actually get rid of her.

Then Ross entered and she jumped on her feet, running towards the wall opposite of the window. “Oh my god!” She screamed, starting to freak out a little, especially because Chandler appeared again, naked apart from something that clearly didn't fit him and wasn't his.

“Are you okay?” Ross asked, sitting on the couch and frowning at Monica who was now laughing weirdly.

“Oh my god, you're not... busy!”

“No, I'm not,” he shook his head. “Rach' I was...”

“PIES!” Monica suddenly shouted. At her friends' perplex stares, she grinned. “Let's make pies! Together!”

“Together?” her friends echoed, as if not believing it.

“Yeah!” Monica exclaimed again, throwing her hands in the air.

“I heard pie?” Joey's voice said before he even was in the flat.

Monica grimaced and turned to the window again, her eyes wide when she saw Chandler looking across the street. What if somebody saw him? Oh, well, nobody knew them, at least not in the building across the street. When he finally turned, he stepped back when he saw that almost everyone was here, and Monica gestured him to crawl or sit, panicked.

“What's up with Monica?” Joey asked from the fridge.

“Just saying hello to the neighbors,” she shrugged.

“They can see here? You've got to change of apartment,” Ross shook his head.

Chandler's head popped again and he mimed that he was cold, but Monica waved him away.

“So, pie, huh?!” she chuckled. “Let's DO that!”

“But, Mon', you hate when we touch your things,” Rachel sighed.

“No, I don't.”

“Mh. Yes you do,” Ross nodded.

Joey was nodding when she looked at him for some support, and almost jumped when he saw everyone staring at him. “What? I was just picturing your neighbors seeing you walking around na... you know what? Never mind,” he said, turning around to leave the flat. He opened the door again. “And save some of that pie for me!” he added and closed the door.

“Okay, okay, I'll do it myself,” Monica said, although nobody had talked.

“I gotta go anyway. I haven't called Emily's mum today yet, maybe she'll tell me where she is this time,” Ross mumbled, leaving the flat too.

“Well, I should go too, there's... something I need to do,” Rachel lied.

“Why are you going?” Monica asked, and mentally told herself to shut up, because all she wanted was everyone to go.

“It's just that you get a bit bossy when you're baking, I wouldn't want to stand in your way. And I've got a work thing!”

Rachel was out of the flat before Monica could protest. She didn't run after her only because Chandler knocked at the window.

“Are they gone?” he asked, rubbing his arms.

“Yep, come in!”

“You know,” Chandler said as he was climbing back in the flat. “I'm starting to understand Ugly Naked Guy, it feels pretty good.”

“Chandler?”

“Yeah?”

“Less talking,” Monica nodded with a smile. “Oh my God.”

“What?” he asked, opening the bathroom's door.

“It's kind of... hot for you to wear this,” she said, putting her hands on his waist.

“Really?” He stared at her and chuckled. “Well, it's more comfortable that the ones my da—aah... than I would have imagined!” he exclaimed, shuddering at some memory he shook off.

“Get in the room, I'll be right back, I just need to bake a pie.”

“Okay,” Chandler nodded and he turned to pick up his clothes but his head snapped up. “You what?”

“Nothing. The others are just expecting pies because I might have...” Monica answered, but stopped, looking at the wall.

“You might have...?”

“Okay, I panicked a bit! But you kept popping up and anybody could have seen you! It's your fault!”

“There was a pigeon!” Chandler exclaimed, then waved randomly in the air. “Why are we discussing that?! I'll be in your room and you be quick.”

“Okay!” she said.

“Okay!” he echoed, and kissed her, running for some reason to the bedroom with his clothes in one hand.

She watched him go and smiled to herself, then realized the pie wouldn't make itself, and quickly grabbed a few ingredients to bake one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to alternate one long and one short each time, and I hope you like it :) That idea came from a friend I think! If you have any more ideas, again don't hesitate to tell me, I'll gladly write it! (within this idea of Mondler sneaking around or something else, by the way)


	3. TOW Rachel is looking for Monica

Chandler and Monica stopped kissing and pulled back at the same moment when they heard the door of the flat. They looked at each other for a second, his hands under her shirt and hers still playing with his hair. They stood up suddenly when Joey called Chandler. He quickly walked to the door, took a second to think of something – that butler doing his father was an efficient way to kill a boner, apparently – and opened the door, closing it right after.

“You were sleeping?” Joey asked, looking at his clothes and his messed up hair.

“Long day at the office,” Chandler shrugged. “What's up? Aren't you supposed to meet with Estelle to convince I don't know who to give you a chance?”

“She's busy with someone, I'll go later. I'm helping Rachel find Monica. Have you seen her?”

“Monica?” Chandler chuckled nervously. “Why would I have seen her? I was in my bedroom, Monica's not there,” he babbled. He really was bad at lying spontaneously to his friends.

“You want go help looking?”

“I'm a bit tired, I'll call you if she's around,” Chandler smiled.

Joey nodded and left the flat, taking his jacket. Chandler sighed and went back in his room where Monica was sitting on his bed.

“I should check on her probably,” she said, looking at the door, then Chandler.

“Yeah.”

“Or I could stay here and leave before Joey gets back...”

“Let's do that!” Chandler exclaimed, kissing her without letting her time to change her mind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update any sooner, but I couldn't find a title for this chapter... Okay, the main reason is because I'm in my exams period, so I might not update regularly. So far I have 10 more ideas already written, some readers gave me a couple of ideas on FF.net, so don't hesitate to submit anything, it's really good to write about those two ;)


	4. TOW the actual laundry

"Hey, for once we're genuinely doing laundry," Chandler called from across the room, dragging his basket where Monica was.

"I know... It's frustrating."

"I like it," he shrugged.

"We could be having sex," Monica said.

"I don't like it!" he exclaimed, then jumped lightly on the cleaning machine he was using, looking around at the empty place. "Come," he smiled, holding out his hand.

She looked at him, unsure, but took his hand anyway, hiding a smile by tilting her head to the side. He opened his legs and trapped her between them, then cupped her face.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, pushing her hair behind her ear and at the same time stroking her skin.

She smiled again and he pulled her closer to kiss her slowly, running one hand along her arm until he reached her fingers to take her hand again. She chuckled under the kiss and he smiled then kissed her jaw and neck to finally just hug her in silence, enjoying the quiet they finally had.

"This is nice," she said in his ear.

He nodded to answer and closed his eyes.

When the door opened, none of them gathered enough willpower to break the hug away, but they had already hugged, it wasn't that strange, right? And maybe it was just some random stranger none of them knew.

"Hi," a voice they knew too well sighed, clearly sad. So, Ross, not some stranger. "Can I join?"

Chandler and Monica looked up, then at each other, and nodded to answer Ross who walked to them and hugged them both. He quickly pulled away and looked around, then at Monica.

"I was looking for you," he said. "Do you have the phone numbers of Emily's family and friends somewhere?"

Monica turned around, but didn't leave the spot between Chandler's legs. "Parents and best friends or uncles and cousins and acquaintances?"

"Uncles and cousins and _everyone_."

"You have that in you apartment," she nodded. "In your bedroom, Emily told me you two put it at the bottom of the closet and I thought it was a terrible place. I don't know if she took it."

"I knew you were my sister for a reason."

"It's not as if you had chosen me," Monica chuckled, watching Ross leave.

"You know," Chandler said, putting his hands on her hips and pecking her neck once they were alone again. "Sometimes I am really glad our room-mates don't do laundry."

"Rachel tried a few times."

"Oh, and that was successful!"

She laughed but stepped away when someone entered this time, innocently sitting next to Chandler and nodding politely at the person they didn't know.

"Guess we're not alone anymore," Chandler sighed dramatically, making Monica smile.

He still kissed her cheek and they talked softly, spending a good moment together. Not having sex, as they often did as soon as they were away from their common friends, but not having to pretend they were just friends either. It was just nice. Really nice.


	5. TOW the bad habit

Joey was humming as he entered the apartment but stopped when Chandler almost ran out of the bathroom, trying to act casual. Monica was still in his bedroom, getting dressed and probably trying to come up with an excuse in case Joey found her here, and Chandler had run to the bathroom to spray some deodorant on him so he wouldn't smell too much like he'd just had sex.

Joey took a step back. “Oh, man, you stink!” he said, putting his shirt up to hide the smell. He quickly stopped. “That shirt's dirty,” he told, more to himself than someone else, then squinted his eyes as be stepped into Chandler's personal space.

“What?” Chandler asked, crossing his arms. He just wished he had put some pants on if his room-mate was about to stare at him like that. Then Joey gasped suddenly and pointed an accusing finger at him. “What?!”

“Oh you bastard!” Chandler's heart was racing in his chest. Did Joey know? Had he somehow guessed? No, that was absurd. “You're smoking again!” Joey shouted.

“What?” Chandler repeated again. He wasn't smoking. Was he? No, his last cigarette had been... whatever, he wasn't currently smoking!

“That explains it! You sneaking around, wanting to be alone, trying to hide things. You are smoking again!”

“No, I'm not!”

Chandler knew he should admit it, because it at least sounded as an explanation – a good one, that is – but he didn't want all his friends to think that he was smoking again when he wasn't, for once. And it wouldn't help him not to smoke if everyone assumed that he was.

“Let's see what the girls think!” Joey said.

Chandler opened his mouth to protest, but Joey took his arm and dragged him across the hallway. And now Chandler stood in front of Rachel, Ross and Phoebe, barefoot, with only his night shorts and a t-shirt on, and certainly no dignity.

“Guys! Chandler is smoking again!” Joey said, and everyone started to talk at the same time.

“No, no, no, I'm not!” Chandler said.

“Chandler, I can't believe it!”

“AGAIN?”

Then Ross passed money to Phoebe, Joey let go of his friend to give money to Rachel and everyone went quiet as Chandler stared at them.

“You've been betting on me?”

“Yeah,” Phoebe said while the three others denied. “We said you were wearing loose t-shirts at nights.”

“Joey knows in what clothes I sleep,” Chandler said, then ran his hand through his hair. “I can't believe you've been betting on me!”

“Hey! You're the one smoking again!” Joey said as a defense, albeit a bad one.

Monica entered at this moment, looking nothing like she had looked in Chandler's bed a few minutes earlier. He smiled despite himself at the thought. She still looked beautiful. “What's going on?” she smiled back at him.

Joey grunted and walked to her after Ross put five dollars in his hand. “You won,” he said, giving ten to Monica.

“Won what?”

“You bet too?” Chandler asked, a bit more hurt by her betting on him than any of the others. “So the fact that I smoke is just a big joke to you all?”

“You're smoking again?!” Monica said, killing him on the spot just with her eyes. Chandler gulped.

“Yes he is! He put a ton of deodorant on him, and he keeps lying and hiding in his bedroom! And look how happy he always is,” Joey said, standing with his hands on his hips next to Monica.

The latter froze, looking at Chandler, unsure for a second. He nodded discreetly and she bit her lip. Chandler didn't really think when he saw her conflicted. “Okay, so I've been smoking, but did I bother any of you?” he shrugged. Joey was right, it was a good explanation, and it would maybe reduce the number of questions for a while. “But not much!” he quickly said when they all started to comment again, even Monica, although she clearly didn't want to because she knew the truth.

They ignored his last exclamation, until Rachel actually stood and took his hand.

“But Chandler, why did you start again?”

“It's...” he opened his mouth, then closed it. “All the marriage and divorce... it's just my parents all over again,” he said, unsure if it sounded as a good excuse or not. Apparently it did because Ross apologized and Rachel rubbed his arm in support.

“It's not your parents, you don't need to smoke. It's going to be okay.”

Chandler smiled, because it sounded funny in a way. He hadn't even realized the situation could appear sad, certainly not for him. All he could think about was Monica, her laugh and her smile when they were alone, the feeling of her lips on his, the fact that at the end of the day she was waiting for him... He loved spending time with her, he had someone wonderful – and so hot – secretly going out with him, and he was the happiest he had ever been. So, smoking? Being depressed by the whole situation? Hell no, he was so happy he didn't even feel guilty for not being overly empathic of Ross' feelings. He didn't need to smoke, he had a smoking hot girl for him.

“Thank you guys,” he managed to say, hardly hiding his happiness. “But you still bet on me. And I'm gonna get dressed because I can't be mad at you dressed like that.” He walked out, slamming the door for the sake of it, and his friends looked at each other uncomfortably.

“We messed up, right?” Rachel sighed, sitting on the couch again.

“He'll be fine,” Phoebe shrugged.

“I can't believe he's smoking again...” Joey dramatically – a bit too much – exclaimed.

“Well... let the man be, it'll pass.”

“It's your fault, Ross!”

“No it's not,” Ross scoffed. “I'll talk to him.”

“I'll go!” Monica suddenly said, slipping out of the apartment.

When she opened the door number 19, Chandler was pacing in the living-room, muttering to himself. His face lightened when he saw Monica, but he still looked upset.

“Come on, sweetie, you know we bet on everything we can,” she said, walking to him, taking his hand carefully.

“We're calling me sweetie now?” Chandler asked, all thoughts about anything else gone when she had pronounced the word.

“Huh... Well... I just thought...” Monica stuttered, suddenly uncomfortable.

“It's okay,” he chuckled. “I like it. And I don't mind the betting. I just... I wish they didn't all think I was smoking again,” he admitted, putting his free hand in his pocket and looking down.

“You can say you stopped in a couple of days,” she shrugged, tentatively entwining their fingers. He squeezed back but didn't move for more and still avoided her eye.

“I guess I could,” he sighed, finally looking up. She smiled and put her arms around him, not yet kissing him, but stroking his hair. “So, sweetie?”

“I guess so,” she laughed, leaning on although they still didn't kiss. He put his arms around her waist, smiling.

“Alright, hot lips.”

“No,” Monica quickly shook her head at the nickname.

“Okay,” he grinned, finally kissing her. They broke apart after a while and parted, trying not to stare at each other. “We should go back there.”

“Yup. Are you okay with them thinking you're smoking?”

“Well, I just checked my calendar, I'm quitting tonight because I have terrible friends judging me,” he answered.

She laughed and kissed him one last time, then opened the way by walking to the hallway and waiting him there. He followed, pretending to still be a bit hurt when he walked into apartment 20. They needed to be more careful, or become better liars and come up with excuses quicker.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably had something to say, but I just binge-watched season 2 of Sense8 so my brain died along the way ;) I just know I wanted to write about Chandler smoking (well even if he actually doesn't in this fic!) because although I'm not a fan of it, I think it was a really, really good thing to the character that he kept coming back to smoking in the show.


	6. TOW the condoms

Joey energetically knocked on Chandler's door just when Chandler was putting his shirt back on. He kissed Monica then pushed her over the bed, on the floor, throwing her clothes on her. He jumped on the ground and opened the door a bit, pretending to yawn until it turned into a real one.

“What are you doing?”

“I was reading,” Chandler shrugged, stepping out of his bedroom. “Aren't you on a date?”

“In a minute, but I ran out of condoms. Can I borrow one?”

“Are you planning on giving it back?” Chandler joked. “I don't have any!” he added quickly, before Joey could enter his room.

It wasn't true, of course. But Joey would probably not be home from his date, and from past experiences, Chandler knew they could go at it more than once in one night, with Monica. So he wasn't going to risk running out of condoms.

“Dude, your room's next to mine,” Joey laughed.

“So?”

“So you didn't have sex for months.”

“Okay, I used them to do water balloons! Ah!” Chandler said, the first thing coming through his mind that sounded at least a bit plausible.

“You what?”

“I was bored...”

“And you didn't call me?! Dude!” Joey gasped.

“Sorry, I'll call you next time. Just buy some on the way to your date.”

“Do you want me to buy extra ones? We'll play together,” Joey laughed, hitting Chandler's shoulder friendly.

Except that the sentence sounded really gay and Chandler chose not to answer, smiling falsely as Joey walked away, and rubbing his shoulder. When the door closed, he quickly came back to his bedroom and jumped on the bed to watch Monica uncomfortably lying on the ground.

“He left,” he whispered.

“I know, I just bumped my head and I can't get up,” Monica groaned.

Chandler chuckled at how ridiculous the scene looked, but quickly helped Monica.

“You said you were doing water balloons out of condoms, you shouldn't be proud and laughing.”

“He believed me, at least.”

“A bit too much! Do you really do that with Joey?”

“It's fun,” Chandler shrugged, smiling. “But not anymore...” he added, unsure.

“That's fine,” Monica chuckled, running her hands on Chandler's shoulders then his face. “Where were we?”

“I think I had fewer clothes on,” he said, kissing her neck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I got caught up with my exams and my lack of sleep! I should go back to posting every two days, but I will probably be irregular again because I'm spending most of my time playing video games ;)


	7. TOW the secret boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say: I tried to put them in order of occurrence, but I don't actually have a clear idea of when most of them happen, so don't be surprises if at some point it seems that one should have happened before another, posted later. I hope it doesn't get confusing. (I'm currently writing a longer (I think) one that should probably happen before the one below, but I don't know when I'll be done, so I thought you wouldn't mind that much. Also I really am not sure when it should happen so that's okay)
> 
> This one takes place after "The one where Phoebe hates PBS"

Chandler groaned as Monica rocked her hips against him. Then he smiled under the kiss and very slowly ran one hand up her back, almost tickling her spine, in a way he now knew she loved. And soon enough, she shuddered and whimpered, kissing him even more passionately, if possible. Their tongues danced together, their hands touching and stroking and tickling and scratching and teasing the other. The couch was more comfortable than Chandler's bed, but smaller, giving them barely enough place to lie down. They finally broke their kiss to breathe, allowing Chandler to start kissing her jaw, then her neck, sucking and kissing a sensible spot. As predicted, Monica gasped, trying to contain anything louder than just that, and she lost a bit of her patience, trying to get Chandler to take his shirt off.

The door opened, but Monica instinctively tried to follow Chandler when he pushed himself off her and sat straight up on the couch, coughing. She was surprised at how fast he had reacted, and simply flattened her shirt, not finding enough willpower to get up the couch.

“Hi Rach,” Chandler smiled, patting Monica's ankles that had ended up on his laps. “You want to watch TV with us?”

Monica mentally thanked him for having turned the TV on earlier, and wondered when he had learned to react that quickly. And gotten that strong, because the way he had lifted himself had been impressing. When she moved, he held her ankle tight, then let go when she glared. He bent a bit more when she sat properly on the couch to let Rachel sit next to her, and Monica realized that Chandler still had his erection. She smiled despite herself and put her hand on his thigh, which he answered with an alarmed look.

“Chandler was just telling me about how the guy looked like a raccoon,” she smiled, pointing at the television.

“Does he?” Rachel asked, looking at the screen.

“It was funnier when I was telling the joke, actually. Or when there was a joke,” Chandler answered wryly, shaking Monica's hand off him.

“Mon'?” Rachel asked after a while, barely hiding her smile. “You said you broke up with that secret boyfriend of yours, right?”

“What?” Monica and Chandler said at the same time, then looked at each other, realized it wasn't wise, and looked back at Rachel. At least Chandler seemed okay again – free of his erection, that is.

“Well, I was just wondering... when was the last time you saw him? He sure left... quite a mark on you,” Rachel winked at a puzzled Monica.

Then Chandler gasped, and Monica turned to him. “What?”

“I... You... He...”

“The next one's we,” Rachel smiled.

“Hey!” Chandler snapped – he usually was the one telling the jokes – then looked at Monica again, pointing at his own neck, in the hope that she would get what he meant. She brought her hand up to the same spot on herself, frowning, then remembered Chandler insisting on that particular spot when he had been exploring her neck earlier, and she finally gasped.

“No, that's, that's...”

“A love bite,” Rachel nodded, grinning broadly now. “And a pretty recent one. So, what's the deal with him?”

Monica thought for a moment. She had told Rachel that she had broken up with that secret waiter boyfriend she thought Monica was dating just so she would stop asking to see him, but it obviously had not been a good idea. She took a deep breath, hoping that Chandler wouldn't take what she was going to say badly.

“Okay, I'm still seeing him,” she admitted. “But I can't introduce him to you all, because it's just sex.”

“What?” Chandler said despite himself.

“Yeah, we're just...” she stopped for a while, then smiled when she remembered her discussion with Chandler at the hospital, when Phoebe was giving birth. “We're goofing around, I don't want him getting the wrong idea.”

“Hey,” Chandler said, but it was a flirt rather than anger, as she would have expected.

“What?”

“You didn't have to go look that far for just sex,” he grinned.

She punched him on the shoulder, smiling as he chuckled while Rachel shook her head.

“Believe me Chandler, you can't compete with her cute waiter.”

Chandler laughed even more, unable to smile at the irony, then falsely sighed. “Too bad then.”

“Ow, you'll find someone,” Rachel said, patting his knee, then turned to Monica. “Anyway, that's good for you, great sex does wonders on you! Maybe you should try that, Chandler,” she added, and they all smiled or laugh.

“Yeah, I'll pass,” Chandler said, getting up. “Girls usually run away when I bluntly ask for sex.”

“Tell me everything about him,” Rachel said to Monica, and Chandler leaned against the back of the couch instead of walking out.

“Or I'll stay,” he grinned.

“Chandler, you don't want to...”

“Hear people talk about sex? Well, I could use some advice!”

“I'm sure you're great enough,” Monica said, patting his fore-arm.

He smiled falsely – a too huge smile with his eyes closed – for the sake of it and straightened up, wishing them a good night after all, grinning to himself and wondering if Monica was really going to talk about him – or that “secret waiter boyfriend that was just a sex friend”.

 


	8. TOW the week-end in Atlantic City

Chandler sighed as he eased himself down the bed. He was relieved and happy to be here, but also frightened and frustrated. After Phoebe had given birth to the triplets and rested a bit, they had thought that the week-end in Atlantic City still sounded like a good idea, especially since their friend seemed a bit sad since she wasn't pregnant anymore. So they were on said week-end, which was great, away from New York, but still between them. The whole group together, having a nice time. The whole group, including Monica. She was the reason why Chandler felt so frustrated. They were here, she was here, but nobody knew about them, and he was usually fine by it, but it felt harder on a week-end away. He just wanted to hold her in his arms and enjoy the days away from his shitty job, without having to hide.

He sure wasn't ready to tell his friends, so it wasn't even up for discussion, but how he wished he could kiss her without caring about anyone. She was so beautiful, so hot, and did they really need to choose a place near water? Was he supposed to just see her in a bathing suit and stay put and try not to stare? Because he couldn't.

As soon as he had seen her talking to Ross, both freshly changed to fully enjoy the sun, Chandler had felt the urge to run away. Well, he _had_ run away. The urge he had felt implied more running towards Monica and kissing her or putting his hands... He groaned and shook his head. Nope. Not going there. Why was he like this? She was beautiful, yes, but he had already seen her like this. Even before he got to see her completely naked, in his bed, with him. They had already gone to the beach, or even some swimming pool in New York.

He just had never seen her like this while knowing very well what was underneath the few items of clothing she had left. And if she had already been beautiful before, each time he saw her now killed him, especially if he couldn't touch her. She was so incredibly hot and he was so incredibly lucky that he couldn't keep his hands to himself. What if she decided to stop suddenly? What if she realized what they were doing and regretted it? Not only would he lose really good sex with Monica, but he would lose her, both as a lover but also as a friend. They couldn't step back now. Or he couldn't. Maybe she could. He just hoped she wouldn't, because it felt so right and good, he didn't want to ever let it go.

He groaned again, of frustration, and straightened, looking around for a distraction. How could he just stand next to her and not do anything? He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, and got up slowly when he heard a knock on the door. He banged his head against the door instead of simply leaning against it when he saw Joey.

“What's happening?” he sighed. God, why was it so hard? Shouldn't he be happy to be here with his friends, and Monica?

“Oh thank God! Ross didn't want to get out of the water and I forgot my card!”

“You don't have a card,” Chandler shook his head.

They only had two, that Chandler and Ross had taken because Joey wasn't likely to share the room with them as he would probably hook up with someone before the beginning of the night – the same way Chandler had said he'd share a bed with Joey because they only had two beds, and he was almost certain Joey wouldn't be in the room.

“Oh,” Joey said, then shrugged. “Well, are you coming? Monica was looking for you.”

“Why?” Chandler asked, then mentally cursed himself. Well, probably to have some alone-time, not that she would have said that to Joey.

“She said you forgot to give her sunscreen back earlier.”

“You know where she is?”

Joey shrugged again and turned to leave, but he stopped. “Do you have a snorkeling mask?”

Chandler shook his head with a smile and threw him his bag, having packed one because he knew his friend well enough to know that he would forget his own. He waved at Joey when he finally left the room.

He sighed and shook his head. He could at least try to enjoy. Or pretend, if he really didn't feel like having fun, he was good at pretending. He simply had to throw a few jokes in and keep his eyes away from Monica, it could work.

When he opened his door to finally join his friends and that Monica was standing in front of it, knocking the air, he instantly smiled. They stared at each other for a moment then she rushed in the room at the same time he closed the door, kissing even before they heard it click. It didn't actually closed and Chandler had to push Monica against it, apologizing when the doorknob stabbed her back.

They laughed against each other lips, realizing how ridiculous and rushed this all was, and Chandler kissed her head and put his arms around her.

“Are you okay?” she asked worryingly in his shoulder.

He shrugged. Maybe he wasn't. He had assumed it was because he couldn't really be with Monica, but now that she was here, in his arms, he knew it wasn't only that.

“I'm just tired,” he decided to answer. Maybe it was just that.

“Sorry I kept you up last night,” she said apologetically, even if she probably wasn't that sorry. The sex had been mind-blowing for both of them.

But it actually made sense. It had to be this. Things were going great, greater than ever, actually. It could be that, too. The fear of losing what he had because he had never felt more... at the right place. Or he was just freaking out, as usual. He probably was.

Monica pulled away from the hug and looked at him in his eyes, frowning. “Are you sure?”

He opened his mouth to talk, but closed it and chose to smile instead. No need to worry her. “Yeah,” he nodded.

She squinted her eyes for a bit, analyzing him and his answer, then sighed, kissing his cheek. “Back to the others, then?”

Chandler groaned. He would gladly stay here with Monica. Instead, he grabbed her wrist before she could open the door and turned her around, shoving her against the door again – without the doorknob in her back this time. He wasn't really feeling like it, but he never missed an opportunity to tease her. It was way too funny and exciting. And satisfying – to be able to do that to Monica.

She giggled against him and tried to free her wrist, but clearly didn't want to. She tried to kiss him too, but he kept his face away, until her frustration turned into a laughter as he stuck his tongue out as the very mature adult he was. Then he couldn't really control himself, because he loved her laughter and her smile, so they finally kissed. He briefly forgot where they were or what they were supposed to do, and even why he was feeling so down, and he let her wrist go to bring his hands up to cup her face, his fingers ever so lightly stroking her skin. She shuddered and closed her fist on his hair, the other hand running slowly in his hair. They parted at the same time, breathless, both proud of how only a kiss could affect the other. Chandler chuckled as he kissed her again.

Yeah, he was definitely fine with Monica.

* * *

When they finally managed to leave the room, they were holding hands and smiling at each other again. They let go of the other as soon as they spotted someone they knew, and went in different direction. It worked only for a couple of minutes, until Joey noticed that everyone was in the same area – finally! – and brought them all together on saved seats in the nice cafe near the swimming pool. Chandler talked and joked, maybe even more than usual, trying to keep his mind off anything bad. Or Monica, who was sitting in front of him, with their feet touching. None had moved, and they tried not to make eye contact. Chandler eventually gave up, first glancing sometimes at her, then really staring. At least he was still talking.

She looked stunning. She had tried to tie her hair up, but some was out of place, falling lightly on her shoulders, probably because she had been in the water already – while Chandler was brooding in his room. And her blue eyes always mesmerized him. He probably should have looked away, but he didn't, now resting his chin on his hand. Obviously staring, especially because he had even stopped talking.

“Dude, you're not subtle,” Joey said to him, and Chandler shook himself out of his torpor.

“Mmh?”

“Checking that blond chick, huh? She's almost wearing nothing!”

“Huh? Oh... yeah,” Chandler shrugged, not even bothering to check.

He saw Joey thanking God, then turned again to Monica who was laughing with Ross and Phoebe. Rachel was trying to convince Joey to wait before making a move. Chandler was about to join the latter conversation, when Monica looked up and smiled widely at him, winking discreetly, then turned quickly back to her brother and best friend. Chandler stared for a while again, his mouth opened stupidly. Why was she torturing him?

He nudged her with his foot under the table and finally talked with Joey and Rachel, only to yelp when Monica hit him back, way more fiercely than he had.

“You okay?” Monica, of all people, asked.

“Fine,” he hissed. He noticed the look of the others and coughed uncomfortably. “Bumped the table,” he offered as an explanation.

It worked, and they all talked again, Chandler letting his eyes linger on Monica a bit more, squinting as if warning her of a future revenge. She did not seem impressed.

“Should I make a move?” Joey said next to him.

“Oh I don't know!” Rachel finally snapped.

“Can't you spend the afternoon with us first?” Ross said from the other end of the table.

Joey pouted and Chandler sighed, rubbing his back affectionately. “Why don't we go for a swim?”

It cheered him up and he jumped on his feet, running to the water with Rachel. Well, dragging Rachel in with him, rather.

“Well I'll go too, anyone else?” Ross said, getting up.

“Finishing my drink. And paying,” Chandler shrugged.

“You want to split it?”

“Well, I'm going!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“It's drinks, that's okay, I'll pay.”

“I'll be right there,” Monica said as her two friends walked more calmly to join Joey and Rachel.

Chandler looked dubiously at Monica, sipping his unfinished drink.

“You don't like being in the water that much, do you?” she asked him.

“It's okay,” he shrugged. “I just spent a lot of time swimming when I was younger. It's great, but I'm used to it.”

“I see.”

“Did you stay back only to ask me why I don't go much in the water?”

She seemed to think, then grinned. “Did I hurt you?”

It could have been sweet of her to ask, but she clearly was making fun of him. “Ha-ha. You just surprised me. Won't happen again.”

She tried to hit him under the table again, but he dodged, then tried to snap his hands on the table but he reacted quickly and grabbed her wrist instead.

“You're getting faster,” she smiled.

“Well, I have been friend with you for a while. You're predictable.”

“Would you predict it if I kissed you now?”

“I was thinking the same, but we can't.”

Monica growled, then sighed and slumped against the back of her chair when Chandler finally let her wrist go.

They were silent for a moment, smiling at each other, then she got up suddenly, the sexual tension unbearable because they were in a public space.

“Okay, I should join them. Are you coming soon?”

“Yep,” he nodded, watching her leave slowly. “Mon',” he called back without thinking.

“Yeah?” She turned and smiled, and he felt his heart flipped.

“You're beautiful.”

She stared at him, blushing lightly in the most adorable way, and stepped closer before changing her mind, probably remembering where they were. “Thanks,” she said instead, and he grinned at how taken aback she had looked by his compliment. It still amazed him that he was able to make her feel like this.

He watched his friends, smiling this time, finished his drink and paid before walking to them. He felt a bit better. Not fine per se, but okay. Maybe he could do it. Maybe Monica and he could last for a long time. Maybe forever. He liked that idea.

Or not, he thought as he started to think about it. Now he was panicking, good job.

He pushed the thoughts away and decided to finally go into the water – before Joey would push him in. He just needed to turn his brain off and enjoy the time being.

And he managed to look at Monica by pretending to check out girls behind her, only Monica understanding that he wasn't a pervert staring at everyone. She smiled every time they locked eyes and stole a kiss when she was a 100% sure that nobody was looking. This whole Atlantic City weekend hadn't been a bad idea, in the end.

 


	9. TOW the hot chick

All six friends were in Central Perk, as they often were. Ross had even stopped talking about Emily, finally – it would probably start again soon – and they were just sitting and chatting, when Joey frantically tapped Chandler on the knee.

“What?” Chandler eventually said because Joey didn't explain even though everyone had stopped talking to listen to whatever he wanted to say.

“Dude, dude,” he said, excited.

“I'm right there, just talk.”

“Hot girl checking you!” Joey half whispered for everyone around the table to hear.

Chandler's face fell and he swallowed. He wanted to turn to Monica, who was sitting next to him, but he couldn't just turn to her first. That was a weird reflex. He stared at the wall for a second, ignored Joey telling him to look, and eventually decided to turn his head to Monica.

“Should I look?” he asked, hoping it wouldn't sound too weird to ask this.

She looked at him for a moment, then at the girl Joey was talking about. “Yeah,” she shrugged.

So he turned, feeling like he had just walked into a trap and he knew he couldn't walk out of it fine. The girl was clearly checking him out, which was unsettling by itself, but she was indeed really good-looking and he was sitting right next to his secret girlfriend. He quickly looked back at the table, starting to sweat in his suit. How he wished he was far, far away at this moment.

“What do I do?” he whispered, panicked.

“Go talk to her, man,” Ross said.

“But how?” Chandler hissed.

“Try saying hi,” Phoebe nodded.

Chandler glared at her, then looked at Joey who clasped his back. “You go get her! You need someone, it's been months, you can't go on like this.”

He struggled inwardly, and stubbornly didn't look in Monica's direction, then nodded. “Fine, fine,” he sighed, getting up.

He would improvise. He could improvise. Damn, she was really hot. Why was she even interested in him? And he was so fucked up.

He walked to the very pretty girl and took a deep breath. “Hi,” he said. Good job, Chandler. Now what?

“Hey,” she smiled with a set of perfect teeth, of course. Couldn't she have some salad stuck between it? Anything? No? No, she was really good-looking, but so was Monica, just behind him.

“Chandler,” he said, then ran his hand through his hair nervously. “That's my name. My creepy friends over here thought you were checking me out,” he decided to say, pointing discreetly at the group very certainly watching his every move.

“I was,” the girl nodded, and Chandler made an uncomfortable noise. “I'm Abby.”

“Listen,” he sighed, sitting on a free booth next to her. “I'm not looking for anything, or anyone, right now. I'm just here because my friends would ask questions if I'm not.”

“I'm not looking for anything either. Just a warm body, maybe.”

Chandler clenched his fist and bumped the table with a frustrated noise. “Not helping,” he muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“It's just... I'm not interested in you.”

“Am I not pretty enough?” she asked, suddenly taking it badly, and Chandler jumped on his feet. He didn't want to make her feel bad, because she really looked great.

“No, it's not that! It's just that...”

“Oh my God, are you gay?”

“No, I'm not--” Chandler started, but stopped himself. That was a way to escape. Not with much dignity, but at least his friends wouldn't ask. He would just lie and say he had behaved like he usually did and hadn't got the girl for a change. Easy. “I'm not yet entirely comfortable with it,” he admitted in a whisper. “Please don't... say anything.” And he prayed. He prayed so hard that she wouldn't walk out and tell everyone the lie he was making.

She nodded and smiled, taking his hand and getting closer. “It's okay. I've always wanted to do it with a gay man,” she whispered in his ear.

Chandler opened his eyes wide, not believing what he was hearing. Even thinking he was gay, she still wanted him? What sort of comedy show was this scene? “I'm sorry, I really can't, I have someone.”

“I'm opened to threesomes,” she said.

“Oh my God!” Chandler said a bit too loud, then took a deep breath to calm himself. “Okay, I don't find you attractive. You understand that? I'm not interested in you,” he explained, hoping it would work.

He should have seen it coming, but the coffee on his face still surprised him, although it was colder than he'd imagined. “You bastard!” the girl said before storming out the coffeehouse.

What the hell had just happened?

Chandler shook his wet hand, relieved that Monica was alone when she handed him a dried towel. He nodded a thanks to Gunther who had provided the cloth, and turned to his secret girlfriend.

“What did you say?” Monica whispered, pretending to help him clean himself.

He explained quickly the conversation and frowned because she smiled. “I've got coffee all over myself, how is that funny?”

“Well...”

“And it's your fault,” Chandler added.

“You could have just asked for her number and never call her again,” Monica shrugged.

Chandler gaped at her, then swallowed. “No,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because you were here. I don't even want a number, I have you.”

“Aw... That's sweet,” Monica smiled, tempted to kiss him. Instead, she pecked his cheek and walked back to the couch. “I hope it's enough,” she called from the couch.

“Hey Chandler, how did you manage to mess up that bad?” Joey asked.

He sat heavily on the couch and turned to Monica with his index up. “No, it's not enough because I could have had sex, how a peck from  _you_ would make it better?” he said, playing her game, then turned to Joey and held up his middle-finger as well as his index, moving on his second answer. “And I tried, but I'm not you, so that happens,  _a lot_ ,” he finished, sighing.

They all tried to comfort him, but all he cared about was Monica, who was still sitting next to him, but who had put her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it to show support, and she even played with his hair a bit – with the excuse of seeing how much coffee had got in it. Monica was there, she was against him, and she could touch him, she could show a lot of affection, because he supposedly just had missed a great opportunity. Or a great night, at least. In everyone's minds, that was.

But Chandler knew, and Monica knew. One, it had boosted Chandler's self-confidence – and he didn't have a lot of that lying around – and two, it allowed them to be close in public, and Chandler loved that. It was more than worth it.

 


	10. TOW the duck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's an idea suggested by Babatomyfriends, a reader on FF.net :D

Chandler tried not to run when there was a knock on the door, but he couldn't help smile when he opened to Monica.

“Hi,” he said, taking her forearm to pull her into a kiss.

“Hey,” she chuckled under the kiss. “You ready?”

“Yup, I just need to grab my coat.” He took a step back and stared at her for a moment. “You're beautiful,” he whispered, kissing her again.

“Your coat.”

“Right,” he pursed his lips, hiding a smile, and walked to his bedroom to take it. He frowned when the door opened and closed, and stepped back into the living-room. “Mon'...”

“Huh?” Joey asked, looking up.

Chandler looked around, panicked, but he couldn't see Monica anywhere, and he had to find a way to end his sentence. “Mona Lisa!” he exclaimed.

Joey stared at him, then shrugged. “I'm Joey.”

“I mean the painting,” Chandler chuckled, his eyes locking on the bathroom's door. Monica could only be there. Now he just had to keep his room-mate away from it. “Beautiful, _beautiful_ painting. Do you know who painted it?”

“Goldwater?”

“Goldw-- Joey, I'm not talking about comics. It was Leonardo da Vinci,” Chandler rolled his eyes.

“He's Italian? Does he know my family?”

“Joey he...” Chandler started, but shook his head. “I don't know, why don't you ask them?” he smiled.

“Oh, I should call my sisters,” he nodded thoughtfully. He took the phone and walked to his room, and Chandler almost shouted in triumph, but someone shouted for him, in the bathroom, and he clenched his fists. Maybe Joey hadn't heard it. “What was that?” Of course he had heard it, he wasn't deaf.

“Nothing!” Chandler exclaimed, clasping his hands together. “Just the... duck, I'll check on him, you go call your family!”

Joey seemed to think, then shrugged and asked him to call if he needed help. Chandler sighed, relieved, and quickly opened the door, Monica almost running out.

“He was trying to eat my dress!” she half-whispered, half-shouted. How, Chandler wasn't sure, but it was scary.

“Don't you like our duck?” he pouted.

“I... I'm allergic I think,” she said slowly, avoiding Chandler's gaze.

He made a skeptical face, but remembered that Joey was still in the apartment, so he pushed her towards the door, grabbing the jacket he still hadn't put on.

“Monica?” Joey said, opening the door of his bedroom. Chandler mentally cursed as they turned to him. “Wow, someone wants to score,” he grinned when he saw the beautiful dress Monica had put on. “Where are you going?” he asked to Chandler.

“Nowhere. I'm... huh... Just out for a walk. Alone. Monica was just going out, we're walking down the stairs together. Don't wait for me!” He wanted to run away with Monica, but he knew it wasn't the smartest idea, so he waited, putting his hands in his pockets while Joey was thinking.

“Can you buy milk? I finished it today and Monica doesn't have much left,” he eventually asked, then looked at the bathroom. “Was the duck okay?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, he just wanted to get noticed. And I'll bring you milk, okay.”

“Monica?” Joey asked as they opened the door to leave. He gave her the thumbs-up and she smiled but rolled her eyes when Chandler closed the door.

“Sorry for that,” he whispered, finally putting on his coat. “Do you have milk?”

“Yeah, he just doesn't know where we store it when it's not already in the fridge.”

They chuckled and walked a few steps, then stopped just a moment to kiss in the hallway, maybe enjoying all the sneaking around on some level, although it was hard to find time or excuses for a romantic dinner out.

 


	11. TOW the Oreo

Chandler waved at Joey who left the flat, then looked back at Monica who sat on the table, in front of Chandler who was on the couch. He hesitantly took her hand.

“They're all gone?” he asked in that quiet voice he often took when he was talking to her. Monica thought it was cute. No jokes, no pressure, just his quiet voice, almost a whisper, and it was for her.

“We're alone,” she nodded, leaning in.

“Great,” he smiled, kissing her carefully, as if afraid it would stop soon. The kiss or what they were sharing, Monica wasn't sure, but he seemed sweeter in those moments. And she liked that too.

But as it happened too often, someone was back too soon, in that case Ross and Joey, whom they had just seen, and Monica almost groaned of frustration, letting go of Chandler.

“... I told him not to upset me, but he didn't calm down so I punched him,” Chandler exclaimed. “And nothing of what I told you was true after that man robbed me,” he shook his head.

She laughed, because the story probably called for that, and waved at the others to join them.

“Oh you're here! Chandler was just telling me about...”

“You were robbed?” Ross interrupted her, worried.

“Yeah that guy stole my Oreo! Can you believe it?”

“... Hardly,” Ross said ironically.

“Someone stole your food?!” Joey gasped.

“Thank you!” Chandler said, not really knowing how he had come up with such a stupid story. Only Joey to be that invested in it. “Aren't you guys at the coffee house?”

“We wanted to ask you to come. What are you doing anyway?”

“Just hanging out,” Monica shrugged. “Nothing particular.”

“Come hang out with us then,” Joey said.

“We'll be down,” Chandler nodded, sighing when they disappeared again. “Sorry,” he pouted to Monica.

“Well, we chose not to tell them.”

“I know. I guess we should go,” he said, getting up.

He pecked Monica on the cheek and stood up reluctantly.

“Wait,” she said, taking his hand and jumping on her feet. He stopped and waited, surprised when she leaned in for a breath-taking kiss that only left him wanting more. He answered with one of his own kisses and it soon turned into more than two kisses until Monica pulled away, chuckling. “Okay we should go down.”

“Okay,” he smiled, but kissed her one last time, just for the sake of it. And because he could.

 


End file.
